My daughter called me, she was distraught.
She recently started an exchange program abroad and the lecturer frequently called on her for answers, and she would freeze, unable to respond. He expected active participation, and she felt she was failing.
She always hated going to school and every morning was a battle. I was relieved when she graduated high school, with a patchy attendance record.
Imagine my surprise when she decided to complete a degree online. She's flourishing and was recently invited to attend the exchange program which she accepted, something completely out of her comfort zone.
When she told me how it was going, my heart sank.
I am also an Autistic woman with ADHD and was diagnosed late in life (later than most โlate-diagnosedโ adults) and I spent the majority of my life thinking I wasn't good enough.
๐ Always struggling with low self-esteem.
๐ Always working twice as hard to gain trust (and impatient managers can make assumptions quickly).
For me, a new work environment is daunting, not because of the new systems, that's the easy part.
The hard part is the fear of being judged unfairly, because of my auditory processing skills. I've always feared not verbally responding quick enough, giving the assumption I didn't know what I was doing. Think rabbit-in-front-of-headlight.
I've been lucky in my career (ok except my last job, but that's another post), point is, I've always had this fear because I learn differently. I freeze in the moment and it's terrifying.ย ย (Iโm not talking about everyday info being shared, but specifically around learning new chunks of info.)
The constant fear is emotionally draining, and Iโve been doing it for three decades.
I relied on manically taking notes on what I heard and typing them up after-hours, rearranging them into segments that made sense to me on a page. Visual information unlocks everything for me. The info itself is always easy, I struggled when I had someone else explain it to me โ made worse if the info was drip-fed and I didnโt get to see the full picture.
I can process a lot of info and retain it quickly, but unfortunately this is not the neurotypical way.
If I knew I was Autistic sooner, I would've advocated for myself sooner. Maybe my self-esteem would not have been obliterated by an ableist manager on a power trip recently.
I don't want this for my daughter.
I don't want this for the next generation of neurodivergent people entering the workforce.
I asked my daughter to imagine the rest of the class having to learn everything online, with no lecturer explaining, by just reading the material, like she does. Some may struggle, but this is how she learns.
There is no โcorrectโ way to process new info. Understanding your learning style can reduce overwhelm and anxiety, and chances are you'll perform better.
The next step is finding an inclusive environment where neurodivergent people can reach their full potential.
๐ก๐ผ๐ ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐ ๐ถ๐ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ต๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฑ ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐.
